It's not that bad!!

Morgan, Micah, Matt, Melanie and Melinda


Matt,Melanie and Melinda


Melanie and Matt and Melinda



You have to keep things in perspective. I have a total of three brother and one sister, the sister and one brother are from my dad and the other two younger brother are from my step dad. This first photo shows all five us this past summer. The other two pictures show my sibling from my dad, years past and then last summer. Time can change so much, appearance, friendships, geographic location, but it cannot break the bonds of family. Ohhhh.... they will annoy you, enrage you, make you laugh and cry, and they will always be a part of who you are and how you think and view the world.

My heart goes out to my brother, Matt who is going through some challenging times right now, and it helps me keep my hardships in perspective. Who is to say one persons strife is greater than anothers? We all like to think our suffering or hardship is the end all be all of hard times... But is it? You wish you could do something to relieve some of the pain they feel, but at the end of the day, the only thing I can do is love, pray and encourage him through this time. I may be thousands of miles apart from Doug right now, but that distance is not a game changer, a life changer. It is just a little inconvenient.

I have a harder time when it comes to my sister. As I mentioned she is my only sister, and if she looks ill in this picture, well she is. She was diagnosed with cancer last summer-about July 2009, of her esophagus and stomach. Often times when I talk to her she feels like someone is always telling her she has to do this or that. Alot of the doctors advice is based on science and not on years of love and relations with that person. She may not always follow the "rules" to the letter, but who the hell am I to judge? I have told her many times this is her journey and we are walking with her through it because she lets us. There were many years she and I did not speak. We lived different lives and would speak on rare occasions through those years. It didn't mean I didn't love her, I did. I always have and always will. It is sad in the sense that her illness has brought us closer, I suspect that is normal. I pray for her daily and pray as she goes through this she will not be full of suffering and regret.

Our lives are what we make them, we all have free will. And I believe if we all looked at our lives and said "why me", "this is not fair" all the time we would not be full of the joy and rich experience that we posses.

I am grateful for my family, even though I do not always verbalize this, I hope that my actions speak loud enough for them to hear and feel my love for each of them.

My childhood helped create the woman I am today, and my biggest take away from talking to Matt today is this... It's not that bad!!!! I will rise above the separation from Doug and focus on the things that make our marriage great, and know that I am loved!