Incognito....

So I have been totally out of pocket for a while now. Things have been so hectic in my life and when there is no one here to help you balance the load, it can become so overwhelming, and to find the energy to blog; well that has gone out the window!
So what has been happening in my life in the last few weeks...
Well:
1. My sister was told her cancer was no longer treatable, and she was told a month ago she has about three months. In the last week she traveled to Zion, IL to Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA) to be told the same thing. She was actually flown home on a private flight with nurses on board. I am saddened about the upcoming days and what they will hold for my family, especially my 19 year old niece. I worry my sister will suffer and be in pain, and that breaks my heart. I pray she will pass peacefully. I have not talked about this on my blog before because I want to be cautious to not appear to be looking for your sympathy. I only ask for prayers for my sister that she will pass peacefully.
2. My son was in a car accident, on all days - April Fool's Day, but it was no joke! When he called I had been cleaning the house, a real good scrub down so naturally I looked like hell! I ran out to where he was and took care of what needed to be done at that time. In the days ahead we spoke with total loss as the car was not worth what the repairs would be. It was not a bad accident, and no one was hurt. But the car was nine years old and a Pontiac. They are no longer making vehicles and I think that plus the age made the insurance company make it so the repairs were not worth the cost... Just a guess on my part. At the end of the day, we did get him another car, Nissan Pathfinder 1994. Nice car at a good price. So what's done is done!
3. I had a minor same day surgery on Friday. Nothing big, nothing to discuss here. But I was home the same day, resting and back to business today!
4. Seth had his first prom on Saturday and he and his date looked wonderful and they had a great time. Of course, to add to the mix, that was a Sunday afternoon, "hey mom, Brenna wants me to go to prom with her, can I get a tux next week?" kinda deal. Oh well, ya just deal!!

There are a few other "minor" issues these are just the BIG ticket items!

I am glad to be coming to a close with my biology class, and picked up my Pharmacology books last week from the bookstore....

I am trying to get back into a work out routine now that I have had my surgery, so wish me well on that. I need to get summer suit ready!!! And right now, yikes I am no where near that. Not where I wanna be.

I am not complaining, I am just stating the facts! This is the life of any person. Some are married, some are divorced and some are single parents. At the end of the day, when you have someone to rely on but they cannot physically be here, well it puts some kind of vibe around you that makes you annoyed by the absence.

I spent a lot of year as a single mom, dealt okay with what life had to offer and all the ups and downs. Lets be honest, when you have someone in your life whom you trust and rely on, well you don't realize how much you depend on their input on what you are dealing with. I am grateful for iChat... but sometimes it just does not cut the mustard!

I guess I just have to put on a clean pair of BIG GIRL panties every day and deal!!!! RIGHT???

Peace out!

A video worth watching.

Bullshit Bingo! Wanna play? It's so easy to win!

1. Before Barrack Obama's next televised speech, prepare your "Bullshit Bingo" card.



2. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of these words/phrases.

3. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout

"BULLSHIT!"


Testimonials from past satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players:

"I had been listening to the speech for only five minutes when I won." -
Jack W., Boston

"My attention span during speeches has improved dramatically." - David D.,
Florida

"What a gas! Speeches will never be the same for me after my first win." -
Bill R., New York City

"The atmosphere was tense in the last speech as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Denver

"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed "BULLSHIT!" for the third time in two hours." - Harry A, Chantilly

First in over a week

Today was the first time in many days that I have listened to the news. Since the passing of the health care nightmare, I have been so burned out on the news, and I am an avid FOX new watcher; FAIR AND BALANCED. As I listened today I just get so annoyed with the obamocrisy from the left. Yes, for those FOXhaters - the left is represented on FOX news. I do not understand why anyone agrees with the majority of this health care bill!!! AARRGGHHH! Why does it need to have language for reform to the student loan policies? What does that have to do with health care? Why does the government think they can do a better job with health care? Why no tort reform? Why not take time to come up with something the majority of Americans want? I use to work in an Urgent Care clinic and dealt in part with billing, and the most frustrating was Medicare and Medicaid, a government and a state program! Even for a physician I have a great respect for, in order to see Medicaid patients we had to set up a "special" clinic for him to get paid more money!!!??? What??? It just seemed to me to be a great waste of money to set it up and see them separate from other patients. It was kind of the physician because he was able to see more of the state insured patients, but they came in and set time aside every week. It just makes no sense. So how much corruption with this plan cause? What will health care providers do to make an extra buck on the government... errr I mean the American tax payer?
Why do Obama et al think they can manage the student loan program? Where will the private sector go when we run insurance companies out, take jobs away from hard working Americans that processed those student loans? It seem to me that they are more concerned with what they can accomplish, and forget about the people that they are pushing out of jobs? It makes me sick to my stomach!
In driving home I was listening to a sound bite of Karl Rove appearing at a book signing, and I was appalled to hear what they were shouting at him. Calling him a "babykiller" and all those names the called, and most likely still call former President George W Bush.
As I was driving home listening to the obamocrisy, I thought to myself; my husband has deployed FIVE TIMES, is this how those people see him? Service men and women make this choice to join the service, what the hell? They may not always want to go overseas, but they are not forced to join the Armed Forces! At the end of the day we idolize musicians and actors and we demoralize service members! These people make little money and sacrifice all! Their families do as well. How about a little respect. Oh wait, here is respect, for Obama and Biden who now want to claim victory for Iraq! Sit down! Let's give credit where it is due, to Bush and Cheney.
The left would criticize Bush for his Bush-isms, make a mockery of him! But as Obama opens his press conference with Sarkozy, he makes the most ridiculous "jokes" and the left think he is so witty and clever. Again sit down! Why is it everyone was against Bush but Obama "winning a war" everyone on the left is behind him? Oh yeah: Obamocrisy!!
I am so sick of the news, in part becuase I am so sick of this administration. I guess maybe that is all that I am sick of, because the news is about what they are doing to this country and I am so tired of what they are trying to do. I just fear what they want to change next....

I was MIA

It has been a few days....
First of all Friday was a good day, Seth passed his road test and is now official - an official driver in the great state of Texas! Happiness and sadness all in one. I am so excited for Seth to hit this milestone (finally) but sad knowing things will change somewhat in the house. Today was the first day in almost 3 years at Harker Heights High he did not need a ride home. If not me, then Doug or an occasional neighbor to pick Seth up, but not today he drove himself to school and back home! All in all, it is a good and necessary thing, so there are no tears - just reflection on the years.
I spent most of Saturday in the yard, pulling weeds and trimming back bushes. Honestly, my arms were just too sore to type on Saturday.
Illness took over about 0300 on Sunday AM and I spent the day ill on the couch. What a waste of a day. I hate to see the sun shining and my butt unable to move off the couch. Seth and I finally watched The Blind Side, so not a total waste I guess.
A fun day of study all about Gregor Mendel... genes, peas, inheritance, genetic disorders... where does the fun end? Treating puppies to pumpkin? Testing out all sprinkler heads to get ready for spring and a higher water bill? Training two puppies to walk on a dual leash...the fun never ends!
It was really a good day but how else can you look at a day of feeling human after feeling like walking death the day before... well you have to be grateful for feeling good again and everything seems wonderful!
It seems like when it rains it pores... That is the kind of weekend I had, so here's to a great week ahead. I find out tomorrow how I did on my biology exams... no wishing me luck at this point!

Warm days are here!

I love Spring in Texas, it is the best time of year here! The weather is warm but not stifling. You can get out and do some yard work, sit in the sun for more than 15 minutes without feeling like you are about to suffer a heat stroke, it is glorious! I spent the better part of the morning in the back yard pulling weeds in the yard and flower beds, moving wood from the winter and general clean up! I am a bit sore but it is worth it when you look out and see your handy work.

Insane

Wow, they say insanity is doing the same behavior and expecting different results. I wonder if that applies to me with having a second puppy. I got her and had delusions of this ray of light shining down on her, she would copy cat (heehee) all of what Ike is doing, and boy was I wrong!
I really should not complain after all, she is sitting on command, doing good with her potty training and sleeping in her kennel without many issues... that is until this morning.
Every morning I get up, hit the button on the Cuisinart Grind and Brew coffee maker, and as I learned today Gracie must know that means mom's up and I am getting out of this cage! Well I had a few other things to do before getting the dogs out, and obviously they were not pleased with my decision to make them wait.
I walked into the "dog room" and immediately could smell it was not going to be good. Gracie went one and two in her cage - and Ike one.... I thought to myself, really? I have to study for a test today and I don't want to be cleaning cages and dogs! Ugh. I carry them out of the house and into the back yard at arms length... they had both walked through their own filth! Once I had them both out they started pacing for breakfast. Not so fast! I had to carry two cages outside to be hosed off and cleaned. Of course, being that I am Seth's alarm clock I had to get him up too. Alright, dogs out, cages out, Seth up... now I head out to clean cages, come in to feed dogs and then get Seth to school. Dreading the ride home because it is dog cleaning time. Gracie first because she cannot get out of the tub on her own and then Ike. With both dogs in the bathtub I get to scrubbing. Ike takes it like a champ, not his first rodeo. Gracie, if she is not trying to get out the side (of a deep soaking tub-good luck) then she has her front paws on Ike's back. He did not like it much but just dealt with it. Ike is clean, dried off and out doing his Ike dance to finish drying off! Finally done with Gracie and she is more confused about what just happened than she is concerned with drying off. After all she expects me to do that for her! By this time it is only 0900, I have barely been up two hours and I feel like I have done more than I would have done in six with the dogs!
I even called the breeder today to make sure I was not messing them up with all the rough housing and mouthing that goes on! She assured me it's all fine! **sigh**
Oh well the day continued on and I was able to get plenty of time in to study and play with the dogs. I hope I can catch up on my Idol and LOST this weekend after my test is done.
Seth goes in tomorrow for his drivers test... Ohhhh say a prayer! I need him to pass as much as he wants to!
Here to getting a good nights sleep, waking up early to review and getting Seth to the DMV to pass his drivers exam!

Night y'all!

Similarities

I have recently been scanning in some old family photos and it's funny to see pictures that you have no idea what was going on when it was shot. I am wailing in one, and I don't know what my mom, or maybe my sister did to me, maybe pinched me! Well, not my sister since she is also crying. Okay, well maybe we are tired since we are in out pajamas!
It is really interesting to look at pictures that I have not seen in a long time, and realize how many similarities I have with my sister, and my mom... I was looking through a bunch of old pictures and realized how much my smile/mouth is just like my mom and my sister. You can go through life and look at people and never seen how much you look alike.
This last few weeks in biology we have been studying the cell cycle, cell division and it is so interesting when you look at pictures of yourself and your parents and siblings and see not only how much you resemble one another but how the rest of your family also favors one each other. I always sit in lecture and think to myself, how can anyone not believe in God when they realize how we are all designed and how genes are passed along? How could that happen if someone was not in control of creation? How the human body works is a mystery to us, but not to God. There are those in the science field that do believe in God, but there are those that have prayed with my sister, and for that I am grateful. I don't know how anyone could do that job without believing in God. Each day is a blessing and I hope to learn a lot of from this experience to show everyone in my life how important they are to me, and live life to its fullest!

The puppy diaries...

How could I have known it would be this hard! Ugh! I really just thought one lonely dog and add in a puppy - voila! Best buddies! No way... It takes some time. Ike is jealous, and Gracie is wild and I am exhausted!
It does not help when it feels there are a million other things that require your time and attention. A few accidents in the house and Ike wondering who has invaded his territory, and today is one full week she has been here with us. I love her, but if feels longer than a week.
But at the end of the day, it is better today than it was yesterday, and much easier than it was a week ago.
I had this delusion that I would bring her in here and she would love Ike, and Ike would love her and she would catch on because he was sitting or down, etc. Well she is a quick learner, but it is still exhausting.
Today the weather was beautiful and I was able to sit out in the sun for several hours to study and the dogs were outside with me. She is slowly learning she does not have to be next to me 24/7, but she doesn't have to like it! She is far more vocal than Ike, when they play she is very noisy, and Ike plays but in silence.
Then you add to that last night Seth could not sleep so we were up on the couch from 0230-0330 talking about what was going on with him.
I am grateful that my 17 year old is still willing to confide in me about what is going on, even have him let me know that he does appreciate us and what we do for him. That is not where he was a few months back, so I may feel exhaustion today, but you just suck it up and know it's part of the mom title!
I feel a little bad for Doug, he needs me too and I am being pulled in so many directions right now I feel like I am neglecting him on chat, too tired to talk.
At the end of the day, potty training a puppy is like potty training a toddler with ADD. Raising two puppies is like two kids way to close in age, the vie for your attention, they must have the toy the other one has, they rough house, they leave their toys in the middle of the room and the certainly do nap hard!
It will get better, it's just going to take time and patience! So for now I will go watch 24 and the dogs chasing one another through the house. Night y'all!

Laugh til you cry!

Laughter is the best medicine, it is contagious. Everyone has their "signature" laugh, I do not know any two people who laugh alike. There are certain people's laugh that stand out to me. My brother-in-law, Harvey has one of those deep and loud laughs. He can be on the other side of the store, and when you hear him laugh there is no denying it's him. Then there is my sister, when she laughs it's not just the fact she is laughing, it is that she cannot stop laughing after she starts. When we were kids I would make her laugh just so I could make her laugh harder. It was really easy, she would start to laugh and I would just say to her "that's not funny" and for some reason that made her laugh even more. She did it all the time. As I sit here, I can hear her laughter, almost like a cackle. So not only did she laugh at silly things and continue to laugh if you told her it was not "laugh worthy" but she would laugh at unfortunate accidents.
One time my mom was leaving Melinda's house and backing out of the driveway in her blue minivan. In front of her house was a fire hydrant, and my mom ran into it, sorta! The side of the van was literally stuck on the portion of the hydrant that sticks out. Well my mom went forward, and backward and continued to do that and it only caused a larger hole in the side of her minivan. It was not just a hole but a long, large groove into the side of her van!
She was hollering out the window to Melinda to "call John, call John". Well Melinda could not "call John" because she could not stop laughing long enough to walk into the house for a phone. The more my mom went back and forth, the harder she laughed. The more that my mom asked her to "call John", the harder she laughed. It was hysterical. Her's would be the picture associated with the phrase, "laugh til you cry". Melinda is well known for being that person that laughs when you fall down, but you don't feel like she is laughing at you and making fun of you. Not in a cruel or malicious way, it is just what she does. She will say through the laughter, "I'm sorry, I should not be laughing", but that only makes her laugh harder.
Laughter is the best medicine. Even in the midst of sadness, we can share stories of loved ones, friends and family and laugh!

Memories

We live, we love and we say goodbye to family and friends. Sometimes we move, sometimes we loose loved ones to illness and tragedy. No matter time or distance we are fortunate enough to be left with memories. It makes my heart smile to talk to people who know my sister, and especially those who knew her in our youth. Those are the memories that are so rich and so deep in my heart.
There was a Thanksgiving in Navato, CA when we tried to convince a neighbor that we were not eating pumpkin pie,oh no! It was a variety of not so tasty things all mixed together, such as mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, pepper, and the list went on. He would ask what made this and that color in the pie, and we had a quick answer every time. We worked well as a trio!
We spent so many holidays and summers with my Aunt Willie, Uncle Roger, Mike, Michelle and Mark. Those are some of the most fun memories of my childhood, I think Melinda would agree.
There was another time that we were all leaving, my dad driving the Monte Carlo and we had to go through "Devils Punchbowl" to get in and out of my Aunts house and once we made it maybe an hour or so down the road Michelle "popped" up from under blankets in the backseat, we laughed so hard! My dad grumbled but you could tell he was not mad, I personally think he was proud that we got over on him. I can still see that smile in his eyes. Melinda, Michelle and myself, well we just knew we were clever!
There are not many memories of Christmas that do not involve the Russell family. We kids, all six of us, would wake up so early every year at Christmas. The last year before my dad passed away the "adults" thought they were so wise and took all of the alarm clocks. They figured they would outsmart us so we would not wake up at 0500, or some ungodly hour. Ha! They were not clever enough for Mike and his partners in crime. Mike had a very stylish Casio wristwatch/calculator/alarm clock that would work to our advantage! Haha we got them! I believe the words that were shouted out that morning was something like... "dadgumit!" That's a word us kids were all familiar with.

There are so many fun and wonderful memories of my sister and our childhood. I hope I never get amnesia!

Bonds

There are certain bonds that cannot be broken, like the bonds between siblings. Time, distance and life may sometimes get in the way, but the memories are always there. Some of those memories may not come up daily, but circumstances arise that force your mind to draw them closer to the forefront, and warm you heart. I sit here tonight recalling many memories of my sister. I am having a hard time falling asleep tonight, my heart is full thinking about the our childhood. Some memories are between sisters, and no one else will appreciate the simplicity and humor. Only she will know the true humor of the onion soup story, because she and I were the only ones there that night. Only she will remember the "healthy salad" we made out dad one night, that was anything but healthy. There are other memories shared with family, like the insistence she ride the roller coaster and falling out when she got off! The long car rides and the silly games we played to entertain ourselves, like the 7up we "sipped" like royalty sipping tea or a fine wine.
I think it is easy to get on with our lives and forget to focus on all the members of our families. Circumstances will happen to us that give reason to pause and reflect on our loved ones and the memories we have shared through the years. But oftentimes geography and time can cause stress on relationships, but they can only break a bond if you allow it to happen. The days, months and years go by so quickly. I find myself wishing I had not been in such a hurry or had taken the extra time to make a phone call, send a card and let my siblings know how much they mean to me, how they have shaped me and influenced my view on the world.

I can only move forward not in reverse, and I can be content with how I have conducted myself in the last 10 months to show love and support.
I hope my brothers and sisters know that I love them.

Today was not as TERRI-able

Maybe I should change the name of my blog to "Daily dealings with Terriers..." Wow... What was I thinking? Another puppy? She is a great dog, super loving and fun to have around... but sometimes I am overwhelmed!

At least today was not as terrible as yesterday. The dogs are getting along much better so the stress level has been reduced in the house. They have ran and played, but Ike seems to think he must have everything that Gracie has, really? Ugh!
I feel certain I could not have managed with more than one child, it is hard to give yourself evenly to two dogs, I don't know if I could have managed two kids!
All in all, things are going pretty good. Gracie is more of a "talker" so everything she does comes with some vocalization. It is different and takes some getting use to, determining what is crying and what is "talking". One accident in the house, but why on my rug? The house is mainly tile with area rugs, can you please just pee on the tile if you have an accident?
Both dogs are now just laying in the family room chewing on their "kneecaps" and content with each others company.
We will live to play another day, the sun will hopefully shine tomorrow and we can go for a walk!!
Another week, another round of American Idol. Night y'all!

King for a day, or a year???... Calgon please take me away

King Doyle!

I thought that you all might like to see these pictures of Doug. One is in a former rulers chair and the other is the "Phantom Warrior".

Man what a day... I am running on three hours of sleep. The day has went by so slow and I cannot wait to chat with Doug tonight and go to sleep. Although it will not be restful sleep since I will be getting Gracie up at least once in the night to go potty, it will be more than I had last night.
Gracie had a bit of a rough first day here at the house. I was so excited to introduce Ike and Gracie. He was like a bull in a china shop and she was just scared. She looked like a baby alligator going after Ike whenever he tried to play. I sat on the couch in tears for a while, from exhaustion, frustration (from yesterday) ahhhh just one of those days... I talked to Doug and he reassured me it would be fine and to give her time, she had not even been here 24 hours.
So after she went for her well check up at the Vet's I tethered Ike to the coffee table so he could not go full force at her, and that seemed to be the ticket - Thanks Doug!
So she would run circles around him and he would catch her and they would play and then she would run off and it would start all over again.
Well Ike is outside running off some steam, Gracie is sleeping and Seth has went to his friends playing video games with a friend.
I sit here in enjoying a few moments of peace and quiet, but grateful for the end of a long day... Calgon??? Are you listening?

Gracie has arrived!!!

Well finally, we made it home! I forgot to set my clocks forward Saturday night and woke up to an email from Doug about the time, calling, some crazy nonsense! ummm well that was my snafu, that pesky DST! The whole idea is get up early, get up there around 1200 and get on the road to be home before nightfall.
So I miraculously got up, coffee brewing, showered, dressed, Seth up (sorta) and out the door by 0710, at this point we are only 10 minutes behind schedule... but alas, I need fuel for the car.
0730, fueled up and ready to roll to Quanah, almost 6 hours away. At this point I am really missing Doug, I mean really, where is my driver!!!
So I get on the North side of Waco and notice white smoke from my car, hummm was that me driving over an overpass, the beautiful sun just hitting and warming up the interstate?? Chalk it up to that till I see it again, now I am concerned.
My car is fairly new, 2009 so I am thinking... what can this be? I just had the oil changed on Saturday for the 800 mile round trip, and now I am really worried, is that oil causing the smoke? I call the company that changed my oil. (**I will leave their name out as long as they do not wrong me and make this all correct... Keep posted for that!**) So I called and talked to the manager and tell him what is going on and he reassures me it is not the oil. What do I know, I drive cars, put gas in them, wash them... that is my extent of knowledge. I trust the "expert". Well it keeps happening, and after another call he tells me the gas must have had some water in it... uh okay??? sure, again I don't know...
A light bulb comes on and I think... call cousin Mark - he knows everything!!!! After telling him the whole story he tells me "that is not your gas, it is the oil filter or they spilled oil and it can take a while to burn off" as well as, "Sadie if it it leaking when you leave it parked at the breeders you have a problem".
Well we picked out beautiful lil Gracie girl, and as we were walking towards the car, I saw the "oil spill". Uggghhhh now I am freaking out again! I had the play with puppy moment and forgot all about it.
So Frank Hines goes into action, my savior for the day! I called the dealer and told them what was happening, and now the general manager is at the "office". Frank jacks my car up, and the oil plug is secure, must be the filter! So he heads 20 miles out to Childress, TX to get me my oil, 5W30, synthetic. He only had 10W30. I also asked him to get an oil filter, just in case. In the meantime the company that did my oil change was finding the location he was headed to, called in advance to pay for the oil and filter he would be picking up. He came back, checked the filter, and the O ring was not sitting in its groove, but was in the threaded part, allowing oil to come out. The dipstick was dry of any oil... UGH! Frank got me taken care of, and we were off -- 4 hours later than planned! So we got home at 2300 tonight, OH MY! The car is okay but I will be taking it in tomorrow for detailing, courtesy of the company who did my oil change. That's not all I am asking for...
Gracie is home with us know and what a doll!!! She is not the dog we thought we were taking home, she is the one that picked us :)
The breeder planned on keeping her but she agreed to let us keep her.
She is beautiful and perfect and we love her.
Long day, huge headache, but the puppy is worth it all.
Good night y'all!

Bye for now Greta!

With every move you have to say goodbye to friends, but when we get to a new duty station we make new ones! Well today I had lunch with a friend of mine, Greta. I wanted to spend time with her before she leaves on another deployment. Her husband Jason is already over there. Greta will be at the same FOB as Doug, and I know they will both appreciate having a friend while being separated from home. I have a lot of respect for Greta. She is a great friend, wife and solider. I still remember when I met her, we were late to a "Hail and Farewell" and ended up sitting away from friends who were being "farewelled" and we ended up sitting next to Jason and Greta. I was surprised to learn she was Active Duty like her husband. She seemed so soft and sweet, not all HOOAH hard core.
Well from there a friendship was formed, we have had Wii bowling nights, dinners out to eat and at their house. They are also Ikes babysitters when we have to go away. They have two beautiful dogs, Sam and Kirby; Ikes two buddies! We have to laugh when Ike comes home from their house because he will mope around for a day to two missing his big ole golden retriever friends! We are lucky to call them friends! I will miss seeing her over the next year.
Ike will certainly miss the Railsbacks (humans and dogs alike). We look forward to spending time together when they are all back home safely. I hope we will all be at Ft Leavenworth together! Godspeed Greta! I will miss you friend!

For me, I am going to bed early tonight so I can get up at 0530 and leave by 0700 to get the new puppy, Gracie. I hope this goes well!

The most interesting question I get asked

I was thinking about this question today that so many people, including my family have asked me. Bear in mind it is usually when Doug is coming home, not leaving.
The question: So this will be his last time to do, right?
I wonder what makes people ask that question. Please do not find me rude if you have asked me this before, I just find it interesting and funny!!
After a small pause of **are you serious?** I just respond, "who knows"?! I mean here we are five tours later and I see people with substantial rank and NO combat patch. Now people have asked me why he has to go so much, I worry less about that and wonder how this yay-who has NEVER gone! Really? This war has been going on for a long time - lets all do our fair share, right?
At any rate, I think I am just being cranky tonight because it is my first night home without Doug or Seth. Seth is 17 and needs to hang out with his friends, but I am just a little touchy I guess.
It could be worse!
Good night....

Have you forgotten?

I cannot believe that two weeks have gone by since Doug left! If I'm being honest, really seems like much longer than two weeks! Really, the days go by like everything is normal, but when I sit back and reflect on the short amount of time that has gone by I am shocked! Just two weeks? Better than just two days but not as good as two months! Oh well, suck it up and deal, right?
On my walk yesterday I was listening to my ipod and a song I had not listened to in a while came on my country playlist; Have You Forgotten? by Darryl Worley.

I spent some time on the walk reflecting about the lyrics and the state of our country today. I find it sad the way people have and will continue to demonize George W Bush for the war. Something that has always stood out to me is when President Bush said that after the dust settled and people went back to their "normal" lives, his never did. How could it? Honestly, he was the President during war time, but he made choices not just anyone would have the stones to make! It was never about popularity for him after 9/11. I did not agree with every decision that he made, but I fully support his efforts on the war, and keeping the homeland safe. He did that, he kept this country safe after that horrible day. Many do not give him credit for that, they only make him out to be the devil.
There is so much truth to everyone going on with their lives. Although I am not privy to the information that President Bush, and now President Obama deal with daily, my life, and our home has never went back to normal like many of those who condemn and blame President George W Bush. For us, we still remember 9/11, not just because it is my birthday, but because Doug has deployed for his fifth tour, in the name of freedom.

I love country music because it tells a story, not just about losing your wife, dog and house, but about life. The lyrics to the song are very real, and I think it reflects the sentiment of a great deal of Americans. It certainly is not "PC" or "sexy" but there are many Americans that feel that it is a war worth fighting. There are many men and women out there who sacrifice themselves every day, separation from home and family to protect the freedom of others they do not even know.
Anyone can ask me if I have forgotten, and the answer is NO! How can I? With a husband with more tours that I could have ever imagined, there's no way I can forget.
I love my husband, and I love this country!
It would do everyone a world of good to never forget what happened that day, remember the kindness you would show a perfect stranger and remember the fear your felt that day. Complacency to some is a sign of weakness, and this country can never be weak. We are a mighty nation, and as I see it, under God!

As Americans, we may not always see "eye to eye", that is one of the wonderful things about this country, freedom in choice and point of view, but regardless of an opposing point of view, I think those who oppose some of the choices made in the war also love this country.
God bless America and the men and women who fight for my freedom everyday, for those who gave the ultimate sacrifice in the name of freedom, we are forever indebted to you!

May God bless this country and may we never forget what happened that day!

Spring is in the air (and I love it)

What a wonderful day! I got Seth off to school, ran to the post office to send two boxes to Doug (just email me if you want his address) and came home to run. I only ran 2 miles, but whatever... It's better than bon-bons while watching Biggest Loser, right?
Before chatting with Doug I ran out and got a pedicure! Yes, a pedicure. I am in flip-flops and walking shorts today, and it feels great! The storm doors are open, with a nice breeze coming in the house, I even sat on the back patio to do some homework! The only thing missing is Doug... This is the best time of year in Texas and I hate he has to miss it. But the upside, when he is coming home next year it will be close to this season and we can enjoy it together.
Ike and I went on a very long walk and I was not smart enough to put on my tennis shoes. I mean who wants to cover up their toes on the first day of a pedi? NOT ME! So now my beautifully pedicured feet are wrapped in gauze and coban/vetwrap because I had several blisters! Ugh! Oh well, that is the price you pay for a 4 miles walk in leather flip-flops! At least the polish and flowers look HOT!!!
Well it has always been a normal for me to send Doug about one package every seven to 10 days, but this time with his current FOB he has all he needs... shucks! It is kind of weird to not have a lot of things he needs sent to him, it is all there for him. I mean that is what let him know that I was in it for the distance. His first two deployments I sent him a letter everyday and numerous packages. He was teased that he was sending the letters to himself. I was an imaginary girlfriend, at least they teased him about it.
Well the day is drawing closer to get the new puppy. I think we are going to leave Ike at home, or with a friend. It will be a long day, about 10 hours in the car, not to mention time at the breeders and stopping for food. This will be the first time Seth will be helping me make a big trip. =..=
Enjoy this beautiful weather if you are here in Texas, the rest of the week looks promising!!



Immobile Ike & achy feet Mel

What a B-E-A-UTIFUL day

I was so happy to see the sun out today. I slept horribly last night! I did not fall asleep until about 1130, and was awakened at 1215 by thunder, lightening and rain pounding against the windows. I got up and came into the office to see if a window was broken! Yep I sure did! It was raining so hard and I could hear the wind howling and I was really afraid that a window was broken... it was not! I had to read to be able to fall back asleep! Ugh!

But... I could not let that get me down. I had biology today, and and had to get to class to learn all about meiosis... exciting stuff... cell division! It's a good thing that I have such an awesome teacher, Mr Price, he keeps it interesting and unlike one of my lab partners, Brittany I do not fall asleep in class :-)

After class was out the sun was shining and it was so warm. I actually stood in the parking lot chatting with Brittany after class. It was a nice change from running from the science building and getting to the car as fast as possible. I came home and after a very nice video chat with Doug, I took Ike on a nice long walk.

Walking Ike every day I am reminded that the days are getting closer to get our new puppy, Gracie (at least that is what I think I will call her). I am nervous about the new puppy only because Doug is so good at training and teaching the "ropes". I am hopeful that Ike will teach her many of the "rules, boundaries, limitations". At any rate I did call to confirm with Vickey that we will be to her house on Sunday to pick the little girl up! So ready or not, here we come!

It is amazing that after the horrible weather last night we had such a
B-E-A-UTIFUL day, but I am not complaining, I just hope it is the beginning of our warm weather. Spring is the best time of the year in Texas, I love it!!

Well here's to warmer days, capri's and flip flops!

Dogs don't video chat!!

Every Friday night, our dog Ike watches Dogtown, he loves the show. He will sit on the couch and watch the entire hour. Occasionally if things get exciting on the show he will jump up off the couch and get closer to the TV trying to figure out how to get there with those dogs! It is our Friday night ritual. Yeah, sad life I know, but it makes Ike happy and what else am I doing... really??!!??
Ike likes watching TV, so I figure why not let him video chat with Doug... makes sense, right? So I decided to put the video chat in from of Ike and see what he would do when he "saw" and "heard" Doug coming through the silver box... Well first he was confused, he heard Doug voice and jumped off the couch to find him. Epic fail, he's not here Ike! We tried it again and Ike would just stare at the computer and wonder what I expected him to do. Normally a dog is expected to get off the couch, sit for a treat, kennel up... you get the idea. So Doug tried to talk to Ike again and he just stares and wonders what his "people" are up to now!!

So of course this is how we see Doug on a daily basis, through a silver box. I thought I would share this picture because I like the different writing on the Diet Coke.

Anyway, our dog loves to watch Dogtown, he just does not like to ichat. So for now I will chat with Doug and let Ike scratch his back on the floor, he is good at that! Plus it gives us a real good laugh! And today, I needed that!

Time to put the bottle away....

You know we all do what we have to so we can cope. Doug takes several medications daily for his blood pressure and cholesterol. When he left his pill bottles went with him. It is just another one of those reminders that he is gone, because his side of the vanity is empty. I mean he took a new toothbrush and left his old one behind, but those amber bottles were missing and for me it was a sad reminder that he had left again.
So I did the only logical thing (insert laughter), I put some old pill bottles on his side of the vanity.
Well I decided today, it is time to put the bottles away.
I am settling into a "normal" existence with Doug gone for the next year. It becomes okay after a week or so, you just get use to things like, no pill bottles or less laundry and cooking for two, not three.
I do not get use falling asleep or waking up without Doug, but I just deal.
You fall back into your same routine of laundry, dinner, school, friends and whatever you do day to day. I just adjust to the communication being over a video or IM chat. After all, Doug is just as funny via electronic communication as he is in person!

Knowing me I will still sleep in his t-shirts and run around in his basketball shorts at night, but I can safely put the bottles away!

I miss you Doyle!

Cast your comment for the new dogs name please

Alright this is the new puppy (Ikes new sister) that we are going to pick up next weekend. Any suggestions for names? Thanks for the input. Just go to comment and post your comments for us.

Thanks y'all

It's not that bad!!

Morgan, Micah, Matt, Melanie and Melinda


Matt,Melanie and Melinda


Melanie and Matt and Melinda



You have to keep things in perspective. I have a total of three brother and one sister, the sister and one brother are from my dad and the other two younger brother are from my step dad. This first photo shows all five us this past summer. The other two pictures show my sibling from my dad, years past and then last summer. Time can change so much, appearance, friendships, geographic location, but it cannot break the bonds of family. Ohhhh.... they will annoy you, enrage you, make you laugh and cry, and they will always be a part of who you are and how you think and view the world.

My heart goes out to my brother, Matt who is going through some challenging times right now, and it helps me keep my hardships in perspective. Who is to say one persons strife is greater than anothers? We all like to think our suffering or hardship is the end all be all of hard times... But is it? You wish you could do something to relieve some of the pain they feel, but at the end of the day, the only thing I can do is love, pray and encourage him through this time. I may be thousands of miles apart from Doug right now, but that distance is not a game changer, a life changer. It is just a little inconvenient.

I have a harder time when it comes to my sister. As I mentioned she is my only sister, and if she looks ill in this picture, well she is. She was diagnosed with cancer last summer-about July 2009, of her esophagus and stomach. Often times when I talk to her she feels like someone is always telling her she has to do this or that. Alot of the doctors advice is based on science and not on years of love and relations with that person. She may not always follow the "rules" to the letter, but who the hell am I to judge? I have told her many times this is her journey and we are walking with her through it because she lets us. There were many years she and I did not speak. We lived different lives and would speak on rare occasions through those years. It didn't mean I didn't love her, I did. I always have and always will. It is sad in the sense that her illness has brought us closer, I suspect that is normal. I pray for her daily and pray as she goes through this she will not be full of suffering and regret.

Our lives are what we make them, we all have free will. And I believe if we all looked at our lives and said "why me", "this is not fair" all the time we would not be full of the joy and rich experience that we posses.

I am grateful for my family, even though I do not always verbalize this, I hope that my actions speak loud enough for them to hear and feel my love for each of them.

My childhood helped create the woman I am today, and my biggest take away from talking to Matt today is this... It's not that bad!!!! I will rise above the separation from Doug and focus on the things that make our marriage great, and know that I am loved!

The grass is always greener....

Or is it? What if you didn't see any grass... for a year??!!??

So I had my chat with Doug last night and while we were discussing his day to day life now, and his surroundings he started talking about all the sand and mud around. Yes... I now it is sandy there, that was not the issue. It is just the little things that most of us do not stop and consider. Doug will not see grass for a year! To me that is just odd and sad at the same time.

It is one of those things that most of us take for granted. We mow it, we fertilize it, we gripe when we have to do our lawn maintenance weekly! But I would rather do all that is required so I have the opportunity to walk barefoot in the grass, vs. not having any grass at all. What about you? Have you ever imagined not seeing grass. I don't mean Arizona no grass, because after-all there is some grass there, right?

When Doug gets home, depending on the season, he wants to mow, weed-wack, edge and all the "fun" stuff that goes along with mowing. After last night, I can understand more clearly the "why" behind it. Lets be honest, I never stopped to think about it much.

Alas, I will put on my lawn clothes and go do the yard in a few short weeks without Doug's assistance and be reminded that he is gone for another Spring and Summer season. After all, my favorite part is to mow, since we have a riding lawnmower :)

I guess it is a good reminder for all of us to stop and smell the fresh cut grass, smell the flowers blooming, and the smell after a spring rain, just because we can!

Have a great weekend y'all!

A flashback

**click to enlarge**


A cousin, Russ sent this to me via email today. It was really cool to see this picture of my dad (right), and Uncle Sonny (left). I have never seen this picture let alone be told that he got a 450 lb elk.

Thought I would share :)

These days without you (Doug)

A little something I put together for Doug.
I ♥ you Doug

So... maybe hate is too strong a word.. maybe?

Okay, okay it IS! I admit it. I just dread going to the Doc to just be told you just need these pills and you will be fine. I just don't like taking pills, mostly because I forget to take them.

But I must admit the Doc was nice, and thorough. Although it means I will have to go in for another procedure he was not willing to just put me on a stronger dose of the medication I am not that is NOT helping my problem. So I go back on March 22nd for a more detailed procedure to diagnosis my "problem".

I was grateful to get home just in time for Doug to come on line to chat with me. It is so much easier to go to the Doc when Doug is home, he relaxes me when I get all worked up about going, granted he did that yesterday it was just over video chat :/

Well I am glad that step is over and although you will never read this, Dr Kroll.... I don't hate you :))

I must get back to the duty of line drying clothes. Thanks for the beautiful weather today! Have a blessed day y'all

I hate the Doctor!

Man I hate going to see the Doctor. It seems like once you open the dam - it floods you. One problem leads to another and another... Which has been my case over the last year!
Alas, I am off to another one today, and I am full of fear and dread. My biggest fear is they will say, "nothing is wrong" or "take this pill everyday". I don't like taking pills and I fear so much that they will not be able to find out what is wrong with me! I had a run like that for about 2 years where no one seemed to know what was wrong... argh!
Then there is the issue of Doug not being here. Normally he is the one to keep me calm. I lost it yesterday... Totally overreacted to something unrelated while talking to Doug on ichat... Simply because it was easier to do that then admit my vulnerability that I was afraid to go to the Doc today.

Well, the light at the end of the tunnel, at least I have an ichat planned with Doug when I get home and it falls about the time we have been talking the last few days since he arrived.

Off to take Seth to school, go to Sams and then the Dr... I look forward to chatting with Doug when I get home. Wish me well at the Doc.

One more thing for today

I am glad to see Rick Perry secured the votes for the GOP! KBH - you are too much of a Washington DC insider and I am NOT impressed!

Time for a routine

We do this thing every night at dinner, called BEST AND WORST. We go around and each say the best and worst part of our day. Pretty self explanatory. My best yesterday was a video chat with Doug. It is nice to see his face and hear his voice at the same time. We have a partner desk, so the desk mimics itself on either side, and I am use to him sitting right across from me, so a video chat seems like he is right there, nice!!!

Seth and I went out to eat last night at Genghis Grill...yummmm (another best). We did because I got so wrapped up in trying to finish my biology chapter that I forgot to get anything out for dinner... oopppsss - it happens. Add that to the fact I need to grocery shop....

It really is time for me to fall into a routine and pattern. I have not ran in almost two weeks! Why? Well life is hectic before your loved one deploys, you don't want to waste time with things like...running when you can spend time with your family. Then this week has been a roller coaster.
The transition is never easy for someone to get from point A to B - it just is not. Those who have lived through it more than once understand the time it takes to get to where they are going. For me, I cannot seem to fall into a routine until he is "safely" where he is suppose to be (weird choice of words for me there...)
Now that he is at point B, well the time for excuses it over, and I must lace up my running shoes again! Today I have bio, tomorrow a Dr appt early in the AM - and starting on Friday I need to be held accountable to running. Is there anyone out there who wants to be my accountability coach? Just kidding!

Well I better sign off for now and get the boy up for school!

That's what I'm talkin' about!

I was so nervous to get my biology exams back today. I was shocked that I recieved an 85% on my lecture exam, I really felt I had blown it up big time! I got an 88% on my lab test, I usually do a little better on those anyway - but overall I am holding an 86% in the course, and I will not grumble about that.

hhhmmmm Maybe with Doug gone I can spend even more time studying and get it up to a 90% or higher so I can get an A in the course and keep the momentum going for my A&P class.

Well enough of this - I am off to read Chapter 11 in my bio book.

Peace out y'all

*** Don't forget to vote if you are in Texas today (I prefer Rick Perry :)) I'm just saying....)

Suh-wheet!

Yeah, Doug called today and he has finally made it - and is getting settled in.

It was nice to talk to him this morning. Life will get easier when he is totally settled in and we establish a routine. I think that is one of the keys to making it through these things, routine.

Typically we establish the same time frames to talk in the morning and evening, although it is the opposite for us (his AM is my PM).

I hope y'all have a great day, I know mine will be better now that I have talked to Doug. Biology exams you can't defeat me now!!!! :)

Have a great day y'all and if you are in Texas, don't forget to vote!

Nerves be gone!

Well I am grateful that today is here, I have class, a nice distraction. Yesterday I spent most of the day reading up on the upcoming chapter for class, went to the grocery store and home to make dinner. All in all, a pretty boring day. I am looking forward to having something to take my mind of the boredom and loneliness for a few hours.... BUT I am dreading one thing today, my grades. Last week I took a lecture and lab exam for class and with the snow etc no one got their grades back yet. So I should get both of them today. I am really nervous. I studied so much that I started to second guess myself in the lecture exam. Oh well, what's done is done, right?

Normally I call or text Doug to let him know how I did... Not today though. I can email him from my phone and let him know how I did. It is just another reminder that he will not be here to share in the hi's and lo's of exam's. If the grades are that bad I can just withhold for a few days... right?

Have a great day y'all and rock the vote for Rick Perry!

March is here!

I am so glad to have February in my review mirror! What a cold month that was, rain, gusting winds and of course the snow!

I am glad that Monday is here, time to encourage myself falling back into a routine of running and studies. I let myself "sulk" a little this weekend but come on I am allowed a few days of self pity, right? I know I am not the only one who does this...

I got up early this morning to get my mind awake so I would make the most of my day by doing the above stated tasks - right after I take Seth to school. It was a nice surprise to get an IM from our former Pastor in Augusta, GA. What an amazing man and friend. While talking to him, I was reminded of my days in the church kitchen every Wednesday, what a blessing that was for me. I found that church while Doug was gone, and he was hesitant when he got home to attend, but fell in love with the congregation just like I did. Great friends were made in those days at Grace Baptist Church of Evans GA. We miss them all very much. Thanks for making my day Bill, I needed that!

I walked outside yesterday for something and as I looked at the grass, I felt a longing to mow it (I have a riding lawnmower after all! A little weird I know, but I am ready for warmer temps! So let the countdown to the first day of Spring begin...

When you're gone

Hello Sunday....

It is hard to believe it is already Sunday... I am not sure where the days go, but they go by fast. Seth and I have had a slow weekend. Friday night we did pizza and a movie and had a good time. I enjoyed my lunch with Nicole on Saturday, got some homework done (as did Seth). We did manage to get Ike a much needed bath, and then spent the rest of the afternoon and evening just chillin'
My only plans for today are to finish reading my chapter in Biology and get a little bit of housework done.

I spent alot of that "chillin'" time trying to figure out WHY this deployment seems so hard. I came to this conclusion: time! The more years that pass, the more my love for Doug grows, making separation that much harder. We were dating the first two, only been married a few months on the third and a few years on the fourth. So here we are on the fifth, and will be married seven years in July, been together for 10 years now, so there you have it! Time. Time can be responsible for such much, good and bad. Time heals all wounds. Time is of the essence. Many cliches that go along with time. Time does all that, for me the time has allowed my love for Doug to grow, and for time I am grateful. I do my best to make the most of my time with Doug and not dwell on the negative. After all, I am a glass half full kinda gal!

Distance and time only causes me to love Doug more, and my respect for him grows for the dedication to his job and country. I try to look at it as a good thing, my heart breaks more now that he is gone, because my heart is full of more love for him everyday.

So there you have it, time!


It is like anything else, you "put on your big girl panties and deal", and that is what I will do.

Now that will make you smile

There is so much joy in knowing the one you love thinks of you, loves you and knows your habits....
Doug left "comments cards" in random places throughout the house, strategically placed in areas that I "frequent" in the house. One in the laundry, in a bathroom drawer, on a mirror in the guest bathroom.
It is one of those things that makes you feel special, thought of and loved so much.

Thanks for being you Doug. I love you ♥

Lunch was tasty!

Had a nice lunch with Nicole. I love Chipotle. I had the veggie burrito bowl - it was very yummy. Had a nice convo with Nicole and it was nice to see her again.
I was surprised by another phone call from Doug, that was really great. I am always happy for any and all calls :) ♥

Well to get on with my day and start to study... The thrill of photosynthesis... Can this day get any better? hehee

Top O' the Mornin'

Good morning y'all! Well I feel more rested today. I tried to stay awake longer last night so I would sleep in a little. And that worked. I got about seven hours of sleep. Can't complain about that, right?
I am working on my third cup of coffee - normally I just have two - but I have not trained my brain to make coffee for one yet... So I find myself going in for a third and fourth cup...
You can't really complain when you are awakened by the phone ringing and you get to talk to the one you miss! ♥~♥
Seth and I had a good night last night we got a pizza from Papa Murphy's - and I don't recall the last time I bought one from there, but it was tasty! We got the Veggie Deluxe and cheesestix. While eating our pizza we watched the movie, Everybody's Fine, hello boohoo fest! I told Seth, I want something cute and funny. I should have done my research... We liked it but it was really sad and touching.
Today should be a good day. I am off here in a bit to meet with Seths x-girlfriend Nicole for lunch. She was always a pleasure to have around and I have to be honest - I kind of miss seeing here around.... so we decided to meet for lunch.
With that - I am outta here to get ready for the day.... lunch followed by reading about photosynthesis... Don't be jealous!

Feeling grateful for the small victoires!

I am so thrilled this morning - I was able to talk to Doug on ichat. So really not just talk, but see him. I did not expect to see him until next week sometime, so that was a real surprise and joy! I wish Seth had been up too talk to him also (hope he is not mad I did not wake him up).
Last night around midnight Doug called from a hotel, they were all there for the night because a pilot was snowed in from the NorthEast... GOOD on the side that I was able to talk to him and hopeful I would be able to do so again this morning (and I was) but BAD in the sense that he would have that much of a delay in getting to his final destination.
As expected it was rough to fall asleep last night - all alone, and it will be for a few nights. Like many others in my shoes, you just deal with it!

But to make myself feel like things are a little like "normal" I put some of his old pill bottles on his vanity so it seems like he is still home... pathetic, really...

So now I just wait to find out when he will fly out from his current location to head overseas.

Have a great day y'all - I'm gonna work on doing the same thing! ♥

Good night - the first of many without by BFF

Well tonight is just the first night of many with out Doug by my side. Life is always better when he is here, its funnier and fulfilled. But absence is just in the physical sense. He is always in my heart, always on my mind.
I was lucky tonight to pull back the bedding to find a letter from Doug. It made me happy and sad at the same time - you know that feeling, right? :)
And so it begins. I dread going to bed at this point, but tomorrow is a new day, and I still have to be a mom and student.
Duty calls for Doug, and me in a way too. Just a different duty.

Good night all. Sweet dreams

He is flying out today

Well today was the day, Doug is at the Army airfield ready to board a plane for his deployment. As always it will take several days for him to get to his final destination and for us to settle into a routine without him here.

You would think it would get easier each time, it gets harder. Today was a rough day - but I would not have it any other way. Some spouses do not go, becuase it is too hard, too sad. The reality is - it is hard and sad and all those emotions that go with the absence of someone you love. But I would rather be sad and see him for a few more hours than sit at home knowing he was so close and to not be near him.

We will both survive this one, just like we did the others. We focus on the positive and pray for a quick and safe return.

I love you Douglas - I will miss you everyday. Hurry home

The day arrives

The day has finally come for Doug to get on the plane. All week long you just wait for the day to arrive, hope it comes quick because the wait is sometimes unbearable. Last night I realized it did come to fast, and it was our last night together for a year.I found myself wishing we had more time, that it had NOT come as quick!
When I got up this morning I kept hearing the lyrics, "I'll keep holding on, I'll keep holding on...." Granted I don't even like that song, or recall who sings it, not sure all the lyrics apply - but it runs through my head this morning like a broken record!
We have a partner desk, and each morning we sit across from each other, talk, laugh, drink coffee. It is the little things that you miss, not just the absence of their presence.
As we prepare for our last morning together for about a year, the mood is somber, but we try to not let it consume us, but to enjoy the last few hours.
He will leave today and hopefully arrive at his destination by Sunday. It's not as easy as getting on a plane and landing at your destination - for these guys, it can take days and sometimes a week or more.
You just pray for safe travels, and for the year to fly by...
We love you Doug <3

Quickly it approaches...

Well the day is almost here. I am mixed with emotions of not wanting him to go, knowing he has to leave, and just wishing he would get on that plane. The sooner we get this going the sooner I can start the countdown for him to get home.

This is our 5th deployment. Two were shorter because of the unit he was in at the time. This and the other two were a year. People often ask me. "how do you do it" ... I don't really have an answer to that question. It just is, and I just do! The first two were the hardest, we were not married, only dating. The lines of communication at that time during the war were not at the level they are today. Couple that with me not being a "dependent" and suffice to day, I did not talk to him for those months! I sent a letter every day for both of those deployments. He tells me that is when he knew I was the one! I never stopped thinking about him, missing him, and he knew that by my constant communication. That accounted for two deployments!

Deployment 3, well my son and I had just got to Ft Gordon and he left shortly after we arrived. That was trying, I knew NO ONE - and nothing much of a military life as a spouse. We made it through just fine. I made friends, found a great church - and that is a huge piece of the puzzle. FRIENDS!

Deployment 4 was here at Ft Hood - his mom was sick, diagnosed with cancer. They did not have a replacement for him, so he had to go. I was in the same boat - new to the area, not a lot of friends, but with a finer understanding of the Army life. You take the small victories and focus on those things.

Here we are geared up for another deployment...

There are many others out there just like me (wives and husbands) that just make it through. We are proud of our spouses! And becuase of that - we stay strong!

Ike and Doug in the snow

Ahhhh snow

What a joy! After weeks of watching everyone else around us get snow, we finally got some today! There were rumors of it during the month of February, and as the month comes to an end - it arrived. For whatever reason, Doug decided he wanted snow and obsessed on the weather each time he thought we might get even a light dusting. Well when you are T-2 and you get the snow, well he is happy. We spent the day making snow angels, throwing snow balls and just thrilled that Ike loved playing in it too. Ike is our four legged son, a Jack Russell Terrier.
It is a priceless memory one that we will both treasure over the upcoming 12 months.
Well we are about to take off to dinner with dear friends and neighbors.
All said, in light of the upcoming departure, this was a great memory-making day!

Each day is precious

As callous as it sounds - you just want your spouse to go ahead and leave :) Why? The wait is sometimes more difficult than the departure. It is inevitable, and sometimes we find ourselves just anxious to get it started. I will miss you every day. I remember this day so vividly - and another one is upon us. You are my BFFL and PB. I love you Whirling Doylish!

With all the great memories since you have been home between deployments there is alot for me to remember. I will not stress on the hardship, or the loneliness, but I will recall the laughs and love and the memories we made. I will look forward to your return, and not dwell in your absence.